How
To Understand The Chemistry Of
Love And Keep The Romance Alive
Most people
believe that love comes straight from the heart but you may be surprised
to hear that this is simply not true and its just a popular myth.
Love is actually a chemical process and comes straight from the
brain which is why its so important to understand how it works if
you want to keep the romance alive and have a long and successful
relationship.
We all know
the feeling of being in a new romantic loving relationship with
all of the constant heart pounding, sweaty palms, sleep deprivation,
and obsessive cravings. But these symptoms are all caused by chemicals
that are released by the brain so its possible to revive them and
bring back the feeling of first being in love.
In the early
stages of a romantic relationship the brain releases a chemical
called phenylethylamine (PEA) which is also known as the "love
drug" because it makes you feel more alert and gives you a
sense of well being and contentment. This chemical is responsible
for making you feel like you are walking on air and prevents you
from sleeping while you think about your partner (which are the
common symptoms of being in love).
Another chemical
that is released is called dopamine which is a neurotransmitter
that sends messages from one nerve cell to another in the brain
and it boosts energy levels and motivation. The levels of dopamine
rise when you are challenged or at risk and when you feel needed,
appreciated, and rewarded. So when you are first courting or when
you first ask someone out on a date your levels of dopamine will
be high.
There are also
other neurotransmitters which are released by the brain which are
called endorphins and serotonin. Endorphins reward you for good
behaviour such as when you win, laugh, exercise, have sex, or fall
in love, and it motivates you to repeat these experiences. Serotonin
helps you relax and feel comfortable, content, and optimistic.
One side effect
of increased serotonin is the release of oxytocin which is also
known as the "hormone of love" because of the way it helps
us create long lasting relationships. It lets you bond with the
people you love and it increases the passion and romance with your
partner. It can make you feel like you are in the early stages of
a romantic relationship again and it also releases more endorphins
which help you stay in love for a long period of time.
The great thing
about oxytocin is that its often triggered by touch so an intimate
hug or massage will in turn release the hormone in your partner
who will then feel the need to reciprocate. Suddenly, you will both
feel the need to intimately touch and caress each other and this
will strengthen the bond and increase the love you have for one
another.
Another chemical
that is present in both men and women is called testosterone which
boosts your sex drive but its also released to prepare your body
for intimacy which is why couples are so sexually active during
the early stages of a relationship. Its common for testosterone
levels to decrease as you age which reduces your sex drive.
The problem
is that after the first few years of being with your partner the
body becomes used to the chemicals that bombard it when you are
in love and many people find it hard to accept the new phase of
the relationship which is why divorce rates are so high during this
period.
Its important
to understand that after the initial excitement of falling in love
the next phase of a relationship is more romantic and involves loyalty,
comfort, stability, intimacy, dependability, and commitment. This
is a different kind of love that must be accepted if the relationship
is to continue long into the future.
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